Go Me!

Feeling much more motivated and back into this the past few days. I've been eating better (not amazing but better!), and have done 4 exercise sessions. Made some stupid excuses and didn't get out of bed to do this morning's one though - was feeling so exhausted after last night's basketball, and bed was so snuggly. I did really enjoy the extra hours sleep! Debating now whether to it after work. I would like to, but there's a lot we need to get done for Christmas in July on Saturday. I just need to make a commitment to it I guess...

Pretty happy with myself at lunch - had loads of opportunity to overeat, but just went home and had my leftovers which were tasty as. Wasn't great at breakfast - had myself a scrambled egg and haloumi wrap. Didn't get up early enough for breakfast. No coffee this morning though.

An update on Operation Europe: first weekly weigh in today. It hasn't even been a week and I'm down 3.1kgs! Yes I know, those first few come off really easily, but still! Feeling loads better. And I have another win - lately I've been wearing my jeans with the button undone, and just the belt done up (shhh... don't tell anyone). Today I have had the button done up all day and it hasn't even been uncomfortable. Amazing what a difference just a few days makes. Need to keep at it - imagine the difference a few more weeks will make! 6 weeks to go today. Can't wait!

Picking up the ball yet again...

I've totally dropped the ball... been lazy, eating too much and just pretty damn useless! Time to get my A into G and get back into it. I feel so good when I am doing well. Today and yesterday haven't been too bad. Exercised both mornings, and ate pretty well - not perfect, but so much better than the past few weeks have been! I'm tired, but I'm feeling a bit better. Looking forward to the well-oiled machine feeling when it's easy to get out of bed and things don't seem such a mission.

I've spent some time tonight re-looking at my goals and making myself yet another geek sheet to try keep focused. We have just over 6 weeks until Europe. I'm going to kick ass and be feeling so good about myself getting on that plane!

My Operation Europe Geek Sheet - can't wait to start filling it in. What a geek!! :)

Some simple things I've realised that I need to remember:

• Parker doesn't have to come with me every morning - it's ok to go for a run without him, and taking him for a walk is NOT an excuse to skip my workout. This morning we went down to the park with my yoga mat and I threw the ball between my sets (or at the top of every other pushup) and we both had a fab time. Yesterday morning I left him at home and he was just fine!
• Drinking water is massive for me - I find when I'm drinking lots of water I am far less likely to overeat later in the day. Seems simple, but often I realise it's water I'm craving far too late. Need to reach for the water bottle first, and if it's empty go fill it up!
• It DOES matter if I overeat - when I take the time to plan and prep and I will do SO much better, and when I eat things which aren't in my plan I undo so much of the hard work I've done, and I feel horrible and like I've let myself down. I tell myself it doesn't matter and I can do better tomorrow. This isn't right - I need to do better RIGHT NOW!

I also need to keep remembering why I am doing this and that there is no more "I'll do it later". I need to do this now, for Europe, and also for the rest of my life. I loved how I was feeling last year when I was focused. Need to get there again - one step at a time - every day be better than yesterday.

I'm looking forward to getting my mind and body back into the right shape. Go me!!

I am a moron

Reasons why I am a moron:

1. This week I have eaten anything and everything I could get my hands on. Sweets. Savory. Sugary drinks I don't normally touch. Butter. Lots of butter. And cheese. We've had take out 3 times. Some days I have eaten enough for a whole family. Why do I do this?

2. I have hardly exercised this week. A couple of pathetic sessions is all I have done.

3. It's late and I have to be up early for my run tomorrow but yet I am writing this. Maybe an excuse for not going as I will be too tired.

4. I haven't done hardly any ski Club work in days. Barely enough to just keep afloat. And I have loads to do. It's a long weekend and I'm going to have to now work a lot of it.

So so stupid. I've fucked up again. I had such a good week last week but this one h had been atrocious. I'm back to worse than I was 2 weeks ago. I do so well but then I sabotage it. Was feeling so good and my skin was looking better and clothes starting to fit better. And now I just feel terrible. Fat and bloated and head aches and just all round gross and disgusted with myself.

Last week I started operation Europe. We only have about 2.5 months until we go. Not long. One of my goals is to run these races. The first is tomorrow. I've been looking for reasons to not do it. But they are all just dumb excuses. My bag is packed and clothes laid out and alarm set. I'm going to get up and do it. No excuses! Let it be my first step to getting started again. I can and will do this. Time to get some sleep. My alarm will be going of way too soon.

Woot! Proud of Myself Today!

So this morning, my alarm went off at 8am, and I could hear the rain on the roof. I was supposed to be getting up and going for my run, but was quite thankful for the rain and my bed was so comfy and that seemed like a perfectly good excuse to stay in bed. I drowsed then read my book, and the rain stopped. I got up and put on my running clothes, but then pottered around, in the back of my mind knowing that if I procrastinated long enough there wouldn't be enough time and I'd be of the hook. Then, not sure why - maybe thinking about how well I've done so far this week, and also thinking about Operation Europe I decided to just freaking do it. So the shoes went on, and out the door I went. And it was great! I ran for 9kms, and felt like I could go further. Then when I got home I did the rest of the SSS workout too. Felt exhausted after, but also really good, and so proud of myself for just going and getting it done!

All up, it's been a pretty darn good week. A few slip ups (out for lunch, takeaways last night, more wine than planned), but nothing major, and am back into my exercise and loving it! The scales are already showing a smaller number, and I'm already fitting into clothes better. I'm wearing a dress I haven't put on in ages tonight, and although I've been slimmer, I feel good. Just need to keep this up and I'll manage Operation Europe no problem!

We're off to R & J's house soon for a 1st birthday party. They decided to have a party for us adults, so I'm sure there will be loads of wine consumed. I'm not feeling too bad about it though because of my run, and also think that will help me be sensible tonight, as I won't be thinking ah well, start again tomorrow. Instead I will be thinking about my run and the effort it was, and not wanting to put myself backwards.

I'm looking forward to continuing with this now. Today it's not too hard! :)

Operation Europe is Underway!

I've been reading a blog called Coco Butter by a girl who is also doing 12WBT. She does "operations" as her targets, which are sort of count downs to a certain timeframe or event. I like the idea, so have adopted it, and am starting Operation Europe! Her's are usually about fitting into a specific item of clothing. I haven't yet decided whether I will do that, or just work towards feeling awesome being in Europe, although maybe that's not specific enough!

Anyway, so far I have some weight goals, and also a list of running events  I want to do between now and then. Unfortunately as I didn't get my act together I missed the first one :(. No more excuses from here on though!

Weight Goals:

DATE	WEIGHT	REWARD
21 May 2014	85
20 Jun 2014	80	massage
18 Jul 2014	76	night / weekend away
15 Aug 2014	73	new clothes for Europe
20 August 2014	72	Europe!

Running Events:

• 10 May - Botany Bay Trail Run
• 8 Jun - St Ives Trail Run
• 13 Jul - Sydney Harbour 10km
• 20 Jul - Garigal Trail Run
• 3 Aug - St Ives Trail Run
• 10 Aug: City 2 Surf

Bring on Operation Europe!!

I'm excited about this! Been a good week so far - need to continue this through the weekend.