So tired...

Am absolutely exhausted tonight. Did am awesome workout this morning and then played bball tonight and am feeling it. My body is pretty sore. Feels good though! Played hard at bball but didn't do that well. We got smashed.

Eating wise today started well with porridge this morning and then leftovers for lunch. But then I caved and had a stupid binge. Stupid mind telling me it's OK cos it's totally not. Least I didn't have dinner after basketball. I'm hungry now but feel more like sleeping. Don't think I will get more than a couple pages read before I pass out tonight!

Tomorrow will be a challenge as I'm going to chatswood on the train. It's one of my triggers.  I buy food then scoff it on the train. Not tomorrow. Tomorrow I am going to be awesome!

Ready steady go. No more failures!

Had an average day today. Work was great. I'm loving my job right now which is awesome. Had a good morning. Got up and did my workout outside in the back yard. It was a little cold but not to bad. I did most of it, but didn't do the abs. Just got a little bored. Will do the abs soon I think. Once dinner settles.

Eating was pretty bad. Breakfast good - yummy porridge and kiwifruit. Lunch initially good with a tuna egg sammich. Then it went downhill. Today with butter and cheese. Then had to go to chatswood for work and proceeded to buy not one, but four sweet slices, and ate most on the train. So gross. Most weren't even nice and just made me feel sick. I did throw most of the last away. Why do I do this to myself? I know it's putting me back but I can't stop. At least we made dinner. Thought I did help myself to some cheese while it was cooking.

Tomorrow is another day. Need to eat well if I am going to succeed. No more failures. I am going to chatswood again tomorrow or Thursday so will prove to myself that I can go out and about without inhaling food. I can do it! Now to do my abs before game of thrones. Ready steady go!

Back up again today

Morning run selfie. Think I need to practise the selfie pose...

Man, I'm totally up and down like a yo-yo. Was feeling so terrible about everything yesterday afternoon. After I wrote the last post Greg and I took Parker for a walk and I relaxed and things started looking up. We had a nice dinner, even though it was not what we planned cos neither of us could be bothered going to the supermarket. still it was fairly healthy, and we didn't order!

When my alarm went off this morning I was so tempted to go back to sleep. Getting out of bed was so incredibly hard! I made myself do it though, and am super glad I did. My run was good but hard. 10mins easy, running drills, then 8x 3min at 80%. I was stuffed by the last! Then I jogged home again, which was longer than the planned 5mins. I was pretty slow, but I got out of bed and did it. It was such a lovely morning too. Cold, but clear, and the sun came out.

I've done well so far with my eating today too. Forgot breakfast until later than I should have, but I did have it - yummy porridge which I made at work. Made for a very happy warm full belly! Then a pizza / pita / wrap thingy which I had half of at two different times.

Friends are coming over to watch the basketball this evening. We've got a lot to do - need to take Parker for a walk, clean up, go to the supermarket and do a little work all before they arrive around 7:30. Going to make sure I am good with my eating tonight. Luckily these friends don't drink, so there will be no temptation there!

Update before bed:
We did good! Luckily I got home from work early in time to take Parker for a walk. We so nearly caved and didn't go to the supermarket, but we made it, and had dinner on by the time friends arrived. I didn't overeat, and didn't drink. Go Me! And the right team won the NBA! Go Spurs!!

Today was a good day :)

The view on my run this morning. Pretty cool to have this just down the road from my house. Such a nice way to start the day!

Down

Feeling really down and crap tonight. Just full on sad for some reason. No one thing in particular, just lots of little things adding up I guess. It's been a great week at work, but my eating has been horrendous, and exercise pretty much non-existent. Feeling fat and gross and pathetic. It's not helping that the house is a mess and we haven't been to the supermarket. Also just worked out that the glass that the boys smashed when they were drunk the other weekend was one of the precious glasses my sister gave me for my 21st. Those glasses traveled all the way around Canada with me, back to NZ, then over here to Aussie. They have been n our shelves for less than 2 weeks after being in storage for years, and already one broken. It sucks!

Also doesn't help that Parker is being a right pain cos he's bred, and he's terrorising the cat. Poor cat!

I need to get myself into gear. There is not long at all now until Europe, and I've worse off than when I started Operation Europe. Feeling so down on myself. Need to get my act together and get sorted. Maybe I should just go for a run now. Get it out of my system. Will probably feel so much better. But it's dark, and it's cold. And today is supposedly my rest day. If I run today will I be too tired for the workouts this week? Mind you, I need to walk Parker in the morning as we won't have time tomorrow after work, so won't be doing a proper workout then. Unless I can get Greg out of bed to walk him. Don't really see that happening though.

Thinking I just needed a rant. Parker is going crazy. Think I will take him for a walk and get some time out for both of us.

Trail run done!

Yay. I did it. Got out of bed in the freezing cold and ran. Go me! I did pretty well I think. 7km through loads of hills and tricky terrain in 53 mins. Quite happy with how I went and already looking forward to beating my time next time!

I ran almost the whole way. Only stopped when I caught up to a whole load of people walking up stairs. Now sitting in the sun waiting for prize giving. Should probably just go home. But the sun is really nice!

Wondering whether to have bacon and eggs and coffee or to wait till I get home...

I am a moron

Reasons why I am a moron:

1. This week I have eaten anything and everything I could get my hands on. Sweets. Savory. Sugary drinks I don't normally touch. Butter. Lots of butter. And cheese. We've had take out 3 times. Some days I have eaten enough for a whole family. Why do I do this?

2. I have hardly exercised this week. A couple of pathetic sessions is all I have done.

3. It's late and I have to be up early for my run tomorrow but yet I am writing this. Maybe an excuse for not going as I will be too tired.

4. I haven't done hardly any ski Club work in days. Barely enough to just keep afloat. And I have loads to do. It's a long weekend and I'm going to have to now work a lot of it.

So so stupid. I've fucked up again. I had such a good week last week but this one h had been atrocious. I'm back to worse than I was 2 weeks ago. I do so well but then I sabotage it. Was feeling so good and my skin was looking better and clothes starting to fit better. And now I just feel terrible. Fat and bloated and head aches and just all round gross and disgusted with myself.

Last week I started operation Europe. We only have about 2.5 months until we go. Not long. One of my goals is to run these races. The first is tomorrow. I've been looking for reasons to not do it. But they are all just dumb excuses. My bag is packed and clothes laid out and alarm set. I'm going to get up and do it. No excuses! Let it be my first step to getting started again. I can and will do this. Time to get some sleep. My alarm will be going of way too soon.